Thursday, February 4, 2016
Tardis Or Tauntaun
This blog is a very personal one. You see a few years ago after my last relationship ended, and when I was ready, I had found myself 'out there' again. At the start of my quest to find true love once more, I took a friend of mine's advice and really went after what I believe to be the best match for me.
I had decided that it is an imperative that this person is a fellow geek, a female who appreciates the same types of things as much as I do. In the past I've had some bad experiences when introducing a lady that I may have been interested in to my obsessions. For instance, after having a few dates with her, I invited this woman over to my place, of course it's adorned with comic book posters and action figures, upon entering she looks around and says, 'It looks like Toys "R" Us threw up in here.' This was followed by, 'So you're like the Forty Year Old Virgin huh?' my response was, 'No I'm not like him at all because in that movie his collection was awe-inspiring and mine pales in comparison.' As you, dear reader, can imagine your humble narrator's evening did not go as anticipated.
At another time I was becoming seriously involved with someone and while not interested in any of it, she seemed to regard my hobbies as eccentrically endearing. I asked this woman if she wanted to go with me to one of the biggest comic-cons in the Midwest that year, she agreed, and 15 minutes into it she bolted back towards the main entrance and refused to go back in.
Now I must point out that I do make it a point to at least participate and try to appreciate any my past significant others' interests even if it wasn't not my cup of tea (sitting through a modern-day interpretation of Homer's Odyssey, complete with a jazz-scatting Cyclops for starters) so it'd be nice had any of them humored me.
There are plenty more examples dear reader and the bottom-line on all of them is that my romantic pursuits led to people who wanted to change me and make me into what their idea of an adult is.
Nevertheless, undeterred and ready, I hopped online then made my dating profile and, among other things, proudly proclaimed myself a geek, a man-child, and someone who'd eat ramen noodles for a month if it meant paying the bills but still procuring that must-have pricey collectible. I blatantly asserted my nerd fancy and definitely added to whomever may be interested that if they can understand that, I would be just as passionate about any potential relationship with them as I am with my hobbies.
Shortly after, I got a few messages in my inbox and one in particular caught my interest. This message simply said, 'Take a look at my profile and let me know if you want to talk some more.' I did check out this person's profile and as I read it, I was taken aback by the honesty and above all else these two requirements for any would-be suitor that stated, 'You must have a job and you must have your own mode of transportation, any mode will do be it Tardis or Tauntaun.' I chuckled but her message came across crystal clear and so did her interests in a way that admittedly was better than mine.
We chatted online and then met in person. There was no denying that the sparks were there but also more importantly we discussed just how true it is that only Siths think in absolutes. For the first time in my life I was having the types of conversations with someone who I was romantically interested in that I would usually have with just my friends. There it stuck me, possible romantic partners who also have the potential to be each other's best friends - that's the solid foundation for most long-term relationships. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to have a girlfriend say, 'You better buy that Catwoman figure because you don't want Batman to be lonely, right?' instead of what I was used to hearing in the past, 'You're going to spend your money on more of that crap? Don't you already have a Catwoman figure?' Or how awesome it was to show up at woman's place and see a vintage Star Wars toy collection prominently displayed in the living room.
Needless to say, this romance, this friendship, has turned into a marriage and the most fulfilling experience of my life.
Take from this blog post what you will, reader. Be yourself, more importantly don't be afraid to look for what is best for you in any relationship, don't mistake settling as compromise, and most importantly- get out there because opportunity does not knock on anyone's door.
Please visit Alter Ego Geeks by clicking here because your best friend may be out there waiting for you.